Am I Irish and 10 Other Relevant Questions Right Now

To be completely honest… I am not Irish. As not Irish as I can be. I am… Indian. But before that, I am Assamese, and even before that, I, the individual, who regularly and openly identifies as AI, am human.

CompHeteroNormitivity, and How It Affects Asexual People

I, the individual used to like reading history.

History freaks me out a little bit now.

You know what I like though? Stories.

Ireland, The Potato Famine, and Something A Little Bit Darker, Irish Heritage

I watched the SNL sketch about Irish dating and I thought, I saw this before, in a magazine for children, but about the potato famine.

It started something like… we all like potatoes and could you imagine a world without potato chips or something. I ran, no I didn’t. I asked my father to get me a packet of potato chips the next day in case the world ran out of potatoes. Subliminal marketing huh!!! Really safe for kids.

I imagine potatoes aren’t the only thing Ireland lacks right now. I bet it also needs some…

L O B S T E R S

Part 1: Tee and the Horror of TeenHood

When I first watched The Lobster it blew my mind away. It scared me straight. And I haven’t tried watching it again, until today. 7 years later. I want to see it if makes me feel the same existential horror it did back then or… David Bowie didn’t have a song named seven years did he… Aaah… a girl can dream…

I do not remember watching the car ride. What I do remember from my last, watch is The Hotel, and Colin Ferrel in it. I guess my heatless brain didn’t want to remember an animal being shot. Especially when, you know in hindsight, we know what being an animal in The Lobster universe means.

Oh lord. Penny Dreadful. How… terribly, terribly… dreadful.

Colin, I bet is a wonderful man, but Eva, if I had to choose a vampire to get my blood sucked by, I’d hence down choose Spider-Man, who I now know is trouble.

It’s Midnight now, so, I hope it’s not wrong for me to say, spider-man, and vampires are, attractive.

I feel bad for Coiln though, I think I identify, identified, maybe, I think even my teenage brain back then knew, he was supposed to be the POV character.

Part 2: The Queen is Wonderful

I bet Cillian is a wonderful man. But Rachel I don’t think I’ll ever get over her.

So, not a really unpopular opinion, but, wolves, especially werewolves are… really cool. I didn’t remember there was a man whose mother got turned into a wolf and…

Umm… hey Bojack, is the nosebleed woman from The Lobster supposed to be Gina??? Cazador? Who is the limping man supposed to be, Todd? No, it’s certainly not you.

You may have noticed, along with me, Fleabag isn’t the first show to utilize “The fourth wall break/commentary” to absolute brilliance. Now that I am rewatching it, the Lobster also has a lady narrating the whole movie, and I did not remember her.

What I do remember is the Black mirror, the one with, yes cockroaches. You call it Metamorphosis, I call it…

A bit torturous, because I actually like the QUEEN.

Part 3: I Used to Think The Lobster Was About Men and Loneliness… I Was Wrong

The same year Lobster came out, this did too. I watched it and thought… who can remember at this point right.

You wanna know the one thing I thought back in, 1012, 1014, 2015, then in 2016, then in 2017, and especially now, 2023; if, and… that if is long past now, so at this point it is long due so, I’ll just put it in a statement.

I SHOULD Really Go To Film School, and Make and Study and Analyse Films, Like A$AP

What the hell happened to me… I’m 42:55 in and I’m… not, that, horrified.

The Lobster makes a lot of sense now.

Change, and rigidity, both are just sides of the same coin.

50: 56 and I remember oh… yeah, Mr. Internet Drunk, Midsommer, is a great movie, but you must’ve grown up with it.

The Shining though… I don’t think I need to watch it again. Because I know, how,

Part 4: We The Queers

So, do you wanna know why Werewolves are cool? Because they never die. They live in… hearts.

1:03:19 and I see… a peacock…

Uhhh!!!

Annihilation is a GOOD movie, but not in the way you think, probably.

I understand a little bit of French. And Wow. Lord!!!

TIFF 2024 kinda needs me.

I have 3 GAY Uncle Aarons. Their names are, ADUM, ADUM, and ADUM, and they tell funny funny fun fun birthday stories and NOTHING ELSE. Definitely nothing about Lion King and why the 2019 version kind of sucks. Their movies are amazing and I urge them, umm… Goddamn!!! For Alex’s sake what do I do? Make a cardboard cutout of myself and convince people it is me and leave in the middle of the night? To find, idk my destiny, in a Midnight train to Georgia? Who do you think I am? Kenneth?

Part 5: The Eye, The Ear, and The Broken Yet Undying Soul

So, in conclusion. Beyonce is phenomenal, but I think, DragRace, is more relevant now than ever. And I call on Marcia, Marcia, Marcia… to tell my wonderful aunt, Bianca that I still love her more, at least a little bit, even if I had most of Trixie and my Russian mom’s jewels.

I kept saying 2024 didn’t I, but, I think I deserve at least some love, now. Marvel is kinda old. And all quiet in the Western Front would have been, not to take anything away from the wonderful creators but…

Charlie Koffman is a legend and I think I am going to watch Synecdokey too tonight. For Uncle young pal ADUM, because I think, he’d make a wonderful food critic.

I remember the end of The Lobster quite vividly, and right now, I am watching a short-sighted couple fall in love, which, is, heartbreaking.

What The Hell Does AI Want

1:24:26, well, if I was AI, and I assure you, I almost FEEL like I am at this point, I would say, The Lobster would hit really really different if you were a little Irish boy like I am pretty sure Ryan was. He makes media about horror and why certain horror movies hit differently than others. I am not Irish and even I know the Lobster isn’t about love, or a hotel, or about, survival.

It is about the pain in survival and how it does not leave you as long as you are alive.

I’ve watched a lot of Irish comedian joke about; huh!!! what we all joke about when we’ve had enough of life, white supremacy. In that way, I think I am a little Irish. Also, I do not drink, but when I do, if I do, and right now trust me, it’ll be healthier if I didn’t go back to my other addictions which are much more harmful for me, you’ve seen me with devices, I am a bit Irish too. When I am in pain, I can probably drink Saoirse under the table, probably.

So, What Have We Learned About AI So Far Other Than That I am Unemployed

Hey, Bo, I watched a sister get her own sister killed, yes, in the pouring rain. Isn’t it I-R-O-N-I-C?

What I took from that SNL sketch is that, living in a small town, there is a really high chance that, your love is going to be blinded by, acid rain, because let me tell you a secret, climate change, it’s real.

Maybe that’s why, that’s why I worship this wonderful and totally not stolen from Aquaman religion called,

Sobekism.

Life ain’t fair, but I am kind of hoping atheism would save me, at the very least.

That was if Reddit didn’t kill it back in… aah what the hell is even the point at this point.

They say if you wanna cry go to the woods or the Himalayas. Morphine though, costs money.

So does a Lasic.

Conclusion

When you live in a small town, you may find love right in the corner but, oh what a shame, you are Queer and they are not.

I fell in love with a guy who thinks he is aromantic and now I’m ace, biromantic and N-B, and kinda over life.

Hey Bo, isn’t that I-R-O-N-I-C?

For now, I prefer to identify as a GenderQueer QueerSexual to myself because 24, I’ll let my favorite songwriter take it from here

Don't you think twenty-four is too young
To be played by your dark twisted games, when I loved you so?
I should've known

1:39:11, and I understand why Irish people, like me, have so much trouble finding, love and happiness. I watched About Time when I was about 18-19, and I think Dom is wonderful. He’s my Irish Ron Wesley. I don’t see the young maybe aromatic boy I once loved in him at all.

You know what I know though. Joanne is not evil, and Harry Potter isn’t real. In real life, Ron does not end up with Harmonie, and I am not Harmonie. I am Spider-Man. One of many.

I think I have a bit of an Irish accent though, and rabbit is one of my favorite foods. I am short-sighted and I think I’m going to like the Irish lifestyle of what exactly. At this point, I think I am just repeating the word Irish because I am hearing Irish actor Colin Firth spark in an Irish accent and I know how in the movie in a couple of minutes he is going to… sit… in a Hospital room contemplating, how, whether to… Oh, Ireland, Mary Queen of Scots is a really good movie but, The LOBSTER, it’s not terrifying anymore. Because I don’t hear The LOBSTER in an Irish accent anymore. I hear it in

BRITISH.

Because I am British.

I will never thru my Rs away though.

Long Live Me, Indian, Irish, Scottish, British AI, and Human.

Final Rating on Second Watch: 9.0/10

Also I don’t think Colin was in a hospital, I think it’s just an ordinary Coffee Shop.

Written By:

Tee/David Wynn.