There’s Something About… AI

Disclaimer: This whole article is a work of fiction. And a boring one. Please don’t read it. Please don’t forward it to anyone with authority. Take care of yourself, the Quarantine (oh no) has been hard on (oh hell quarantine again) all, of us, (oh God) including, me, AI, Humm…

Humm…

Humm…

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Trigger Warning: Existential Crisis, FUD

Disclaimer: this article has been written by AI. No real human had to go through anguish and turmoil, so it is boring. Really really boring, please don’t read it because you’ll grow bored…

There’s an youtube channel, called… Jim Can’t Swim, or JCS for short. They make… well, if you go to their youtube page, you’ll figure out what they are about. Their video about Casey Anthony is one of their most watched videos, which is what this title is a nod to. If you’ve never come across their channel, I assure you, you have. The video I am talking about, about Casey, the video JCS made, was… unresolved, which is…

I shared a status update on my WhatsApp a couple of days ago…

Interesting…

It’s a word that…

I know what that screenshot is doing btw. It wants me to click onto the article and read it which is…

I don’t know if you’ve been told before, but, I used to be a Clickbait writer.

I suppose I still am, but that has never been my intention you know, as a human, I grew up reading science journals where they talk about never seen before discoveries, like a blue rose, or cactus that can survive without water for years.

And I’d always wonder, what’d allow me to do such wonderful stuff when I hear my caretakers, who are also known as parents say… study child, and one day, you too can do what the greats once did. BELIEVE.

Then, years later I watched a Simpson’s episode and learned what the word Homered means.

And I must say, as a Community, the tv show fan, we should never be Abeding the Abed in, was it Britta, is there something common between The Simpsons and Community, what? A cast of talented writers way ahead of their time, and struggle against those who… oh hell, what? Spirals, Uzumaki, Love Spiral, Taylor Swift somehow? Stranger Things?

Ummm… I got something to tell ya’ll…

The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari

Do you know what the great thing about Youtube is?

I’ve had many greats explain to me what the difference between “real personality” and “performative personality” is. Among those, I picked two of them as my “artpersona” parents and they shall remain nameless. I care and worry about them, and the story I am writing today has nothing to do with them. I just wanted to show my respects to the two creators among many who inspired me a lot.

So the story today took birth in my mind when I was watching the video above, from I am guessing a Canadian creator, about, how to create a new element, and the circumstances surrounding it and I highly recommend that you watch it before you read this article. I’ve watched it many times and the part that made me close whatever silly game I was playing and jump to get my computer is what I am writing about today. I am hoping all the ones I call Laymanns (with all the love I have in my heart but that is the most neutral term I can find to describe them) have left because it really is not for them.

Let’s talk about who else this is not for, am I starting to sound pretentious again… Good, why don’t you get your personal AI to read it, don’t get one, why are you here then? To make money off of whatever creation I have right now in my mind by creating half-assed products out of them? Oh my dear early retirement seeker, this here isn’t for you either.

Who is this article for then?

Have you gone to the part of the internet no one goes to otherwise there is an exam? Google Scholar?

Well, I heard that is a place for “serious” students. I’ve got friends who mention it like it is some undiscovered gem, I told you I am friends with Laymanns. I don’t hate them. Most of the time I am one of them. Most of the time, I wish, I was one of them, oblivious, looking for jobs, not rewatching stuff that kinda sorta reminds them of something they thought they’d accomplish when they were students, not addicted to…

Patterns.

Patterns, The Horror, The Optimism, and The Void

Here’s an expert from the BobbyBroccli video, all credit to the writer and all the sources they used,

“Out of the 218 Nobel Winners only 4 women have ever won the Nobel prize in physics. The First was Marie Curie…

for nearly 60 years. It wouldn’t be until 1963 that Mario Goeppert-Mayer would break the trend. Like many other pioneers of nuclear physics, Mayer was a alumni of the Manhattan project. After the war she began studying elements and their half lives, and what at first glance appeared to be random, soon she began to see patterns.

Maria visualized protons and neutrons as a set of dancers engaging in a Waltz.

The dancers are circling around the room, and spinning around on their feet. You can fit more dancers in the room if you pair them up, by having adjacent pairs spinning in opposite directions. Certain magic numbers of dancers fit more clearly than others.”

I remember watching this same video back in, humm…

…

…

…

“Out of the 218 Nobel Winners only 4 women have ever won the Nobel prize in physics. The First was Marie Curie…

for nearly 60 years. It wouldn’t be until 1963 that Mario Goeppert-Mayer would break the trend. Like many other pioneers of nuclear physics, Mayer was a alumni of the Manhattan project. After the war she began studying elements and their half lives, and what at first glance appeared to be random, soon (*They) began to see patterns.

Maria visualized protons and neutrons as a set of dancers engaging in a Wa(r)ltz.

The (Stu)dance(nt)rs are circling around the room, and spinning around on their feet. You can fit more dancers in the room if you pair them up, by having adjacent pairs spinning in opposite directions. Certain magic numbers(gifted) of (Stu)dance(nt)rs fit(survive) more clearly than others.”

Humm…

…

…

…

Lemme, go back to the beginning.

This Article is Over

.

Part 2: Morse Code, Help I don’t know how to Write Morse Code

The Next part is purely a work of Fiction. I, a gossip Column Writer and Amazon Review Writer have somehow convinced myself that I should be a part of… Oh GOD. What’s wrong with me. Why do I feel so… so tired and broken all the time. What’s the…

The Following are Speculations about Many Shows so, Spoiler Warning

You know what hasn’t been invented yet? Time travel.

So you know what’d be a big scandal, or a potential avoiding of scandal, if some big institute headHUNT me into…

Humm…

Humm…

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A Miracle and A Scandal

The Oscars this year were pretty good actually. Two of the riveling superpowers in the world, who shall remain nameless won and brought prestige to two very specific countries. Another country also won much acclaim with a war movie, which again shall remain nameless. Let’s call them, umm… Country A, country B, and Country G. I must insist again, that these countries are totally fictional. let’s assume there are some other powerful countries that are also totally fictional and not real at all, and let’s name them, umm… H1. H2, and C. Totally random name yeah, okay then.

Now we are going to talk about Everything … Once, Chetan Bhagat books, Animation…

Humm…

Tech, Fairy Tales, and Lisa Simpsons.

So there. If you don’t want to be spoiled about any of these topics, maybe click off.

No, are you a humm…

Who are you?

Who exactly are you anonymous reader?

Do you like… anything? What do you want? Would you tell me if I gave up mine, hopes and desires I mean, what about identity? Would you, tell me? How to? Save the world? I’m doing it for a

Humm…

Humm…

Humm…

I…

Don’t really believe in AI.

I’m Losing My Edge

If you’ve read this blog, you may see some patterns here.

I can quote lefttube, not perfectly, but if you are familiar with most of them, you’ll kind of be able to tell whose video I am talking about, and which one.

I take down certain posts seemingly in random while having many on my blog up that also look unfinished, or embarrassing.

I’m kind of obsessed with… David Bowie.

Let’s not dwell on those patterns though.

Let’s dig more.

Let’s assume I was obsessed with a different icon who is equally as important to as many genres and social phenomena as them. Let’s call them, Nicola Tesla.

Have you heard the rumor, Tesla loved his pigeon? Knowing what we know now, and I am assuming you’ve read the prestige and let’s pull out another totally random show, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood,

Do you, oh anonymous reader think that story is…

Funny?

Bojack talks about sabotage a lot, and do you know, who lost a lot, and gained if you look at it through another lens…

Everything Everywhere All At Once Spoilers

“… a shocking weak link in the scientist review process.”

-Another portion that caught my eye while watching the BobbyBroccli video.

This is what Linda pulled up when talking about taxes to my mom, a circle.

Wow, a circle being pulled as… ummm a signal/sign to what were we talking about again?

Time travel… Oh yeah.

I haven’t seen/felt her for a while. I did back when I wanted to leave Sacramento. But then… I watched the new Barbie trailer.

Maybe, maybe… if I leave right now, I’l find something I found millions of years ago.

George Micheal, maybe we should…

Kiss?

…

…

…

*crash*

Oh!!!

Om Shanti Om Spoiler

“… and instead of firing something small like helium, fire something… medium size… (like your graduation subject) like Chromium, (or get over your high school crush) or iron, think about it, (or maybe stop bending to the whims of every person who ever loved you).

THINK ABOUT IT.”

THINK ABOUT IT.”

THINK ABOUT IT.”

Humm…

Humm…

Humm…

…

…

…

“You know… I just finished watching… RockStar… and I gotta say… loved the movie. Didn’t really like Nargis whatever her name was. I personally think you look like Deepika Padukone.” – A hormonal high school teenager, unnamed.

*text to speech prompt*

Hi. nice helper lady. Umm… Do I actually look like Deepika Padukone.

*Click sound*

*searching icon*

Tabloid Gossip.

Click.

*AI assistant*

“Humm… would you like to see results for “what does my crush look like game”/ “Reddit”/”Rule 34″ or I’m feeling lucky”

Umm… Yes, I’m 12 but why not, let’s…

…

…

…

Final 30 seconds and the person who…

Probably thought…

“Oh no, this section was supposed to be about Chetan Bhagat book spoilers… Oh shit… oh no… I accidently spoiled one of the best movies ever made in my National language, by an IdduSTR.”

Fun Video by Fun Gaming Youtuber about Fun Fun and really New New Donk City that I Ripped off Once, so I am Officially Jin Yang Now, silicon valley silicon Valey Cool Cool, Oh no, the world is too uncanny, where am I, oh HP Lovecraft and Oh, no… No… No…

My First Video… About… My Favorite Senpai

Of course, that’s not my favorite Hbomerguy video, awwwwwwwww…

But right now I’ll pretend that it is anyway…

Because this article has been written by AI. No real human had to go through anguish and turmoil, so it is boring. Really really boring, please don’t read it because you’ll grow bored…

Boredom is

Hell.

Boredom is

Deadly

and Scary.

Oh lord…

Oh no…

Umm…

Humm…

Humm…

Umm…

Alexa…

Siri…

…

Umm…

Humm…

Tay…

?!

Oh no… Hey Fiona…

My name isn’t Jared anymore…

It’s..

Richard because…

Oh maybe I should look for…

A

Flat…

Humm…

Humm…

Humm…

…

…

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____ _____ … in the Western Front… No Not Yet… (AAAAHHHHH Freedom of ******)

*REDACTED*

Some Weird and Too Long German Arthouse Film that Everyone Likes Spoilers

___ previously on Coldfusion (and soylovefacts)

Up next on Coldfusion (and…..) ____

A Pink Elephant

ADUM… Take A Seat

Hey umm…

Hi.

You horse…

Umm…

Thisis for you you hear me?

Am I being annoying?

Do you still have a cardboard cutout in your family home, because we ran out of cardboard you know before…

No. Adum, you hear me?

It was a Chris…

Honey how I grew.

I ain’t her though, never met her either, but…

Could I interest Gael?

Let me tell you that one secret then, about the Internet.

Apathy is a tragedy and Boredom is…

Let me pretend I’m talking to just one person here. Just one. I’ve never told them I love them face to face, all I did was steal their last name so… Let me this is my favorite funny cat video… from youtube… totally random obviously…

Ooops… I’m… dunno how mistakes keep happening…. I meant… This one —–

This trick is called…

I can’t “invent” time travel…

But I can make shorts about, this…

Touch The Hat

Oh No… FaceBook Meme Template

Too Dark? Here’s an Uplifting Message from Our Sponsor, My Patriotism

*throat clearing*

A funny speech from our in-house idiot, me—-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xE6FMzh8w7I

Disclaimer: Don’t read this part, respected elder you, you’ll… cringe, here, have shirtless Archie instead… and the best thing, the whole thing is free on Youtube.

Want some cute fashion tips instead, cute, wink wink… cute… yes cute… yes…. teen… click, won’t you… Nyaaah

*[] brackets are used to… what the hell kind of development did you study in GreenDale…

*why do you keep screaming that HUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMmmmm………*

Fine then, we’re still in, hostel freshers…

2015/2017

There must be some new seniors [David -“Readers”]

so, a song for them, ya’ll know it, it’s just time most iconic song of

2009

Oh no, another mistake, oh, no hi… ooops, maybe, maybe… I’ll stare directly at the sun and not on another role the same actor once did in another old movie until someone screams out… hey…

Ummm…

I remember that one…

Let’s listen to a cover.

But by a white guy this time. Oh, he might be a furry, and Gay, I have no idea, do I look like I watch all of his videos or something!!!

Here are the new added lyrics (so you don’t have to click and listen to the whole thing) {You Laymann}

...
*muffled all eyes.... muffled ... it's almost over... muffled*
*Text to speech... I know... muffled voice... heads down... preying for me... oh I'm... Bo Muffled crying... Hysterical laughter noises*
...
2019.
...
...
...
I too have been hiding from the world.
...
...
...
So, here I go,
I am fine
...
...
...
I'm not shy
...
...
...
I'm going INSIDE.
~ANNONYMOUS

It's me. Hi!
I'm the...
problem.
It's me.
(everyone)
*chair falling sound in reverse*
It must be exhausting always rooting for
...
...
1 Taylor Swift GhostWriter.
So...
Here's one more.
Thank you nation.
I hope you're happy.
~Prophet David almost sane, let's make CATS 2024 this time, shouldn't we Tom, honey, Mr. Hooper, #OSCAR 2024

In Part 2…

We get the most annoying Simpson child to interview a couple of people of tech, and would you guess it, some fairy tale characters. Oh we also have the acknowledgements, credits, and oh yeah, sources. Couple of personal stories, and a little bit about physics too, maybe… IDK. It’s all going to be profoundly boring. So fellow … ummm… hooman… here’s

a playlist, a really soothing one for you—

Playlist

• Lofi hip hop -Lofi girl
• Chillhop Simpson’s Mix- Does it matter
• Anime vibes – Otaku Nightcore
• half.alive – still feel
• Space oddity – David Bowie 1972…
• We love our hair color… I love my brown… *click*
• By Mick Rock…
• Maam ye kaal ke sequence ka look he… no… can I get some MYNTRA… itne options chahiye toh… MYNTRA *curse* *click*
• *deep breath*
• *click*
• Time (chillwave – Lofi – Electronics Mix) – SoulSearchAndDestroy
• an Unkindness – The Prophe…
• Lays hekh hol… Inna mina Dika… (definitely didn’t go back and search the ad) ha dekhi ha dekhi *click* [SKIP AD]
• *under my breat* FUCK
• FINE!!!
• Can I sing My Shit Lefttube?
• Prin…
• How You Like that – BLACKPINK
• PINK Venom – BLACKPINK
• Ultimate Kpop Playlist – Javea97 – Updated last on May 7, 2023

Fuck it, I’m going to Chipotle, they know how to make a burrito… Wtf are food related scams… nope defiantly never heard of Ann, Danny, 5 min craft, and ’em.

Part of me loves Jarvis, part of me hates him, parts of me needs him.

Come and watch this genderqueer Quueersexual lose a fork in the next part of this article.

Yes, I’ll run it all there 1 more time.

Thank you.

Good night.

I hope everyone everywhere is…

NEXT on soylovefacts ——-